Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
