she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I fill condoms, not promises.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
