Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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