I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize