just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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