i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
