TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
ttyl tear gas
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
