is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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