I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
