Me too!
one might say we're banned from that church
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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