Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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