The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
