Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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