ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
