Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
