so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize