Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
