I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize