Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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