the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize