she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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