theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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