We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
