There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
