She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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