i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize