I'm gonna have a badass scar
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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