I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize