Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize