Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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