your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
