I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
