I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
