but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
