hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
