direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you win again, gameday.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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