I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
