rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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