just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
