It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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