I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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