my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
