STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
