I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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