How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
