dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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