In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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