first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
