Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
