Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
