We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
we made out on top of his cat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
