my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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