I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
