The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize