some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize