Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
