dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How external is "for external use only"?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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