I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize