I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
